Yes they are ALL mine!

“Everyone must have one hand on the cart at all times” I say not so quietly, to the four children around me. I am at Costco, I am pushing one of their large carts. Isaac who was seven at the time is on the forward right hand corner with one foot on the floor and the rest of his body hanging on to the rail of the cart as if he is a bull rider. My six year old John, is behind him with one hand tightly clinging the cart, his eyes wide and curious as he takes in the warehouse of sights, sounds and smells. Christian is trying really hard to listen to me, but he is five, and his energy is hard to control, so he holds onto the the front of the cart for five seconds before he is distracted and lets go to touch something that has caught his eye. In the back by me, and behind her brother Christian, is four and a half year old, Jessie. Her job it seems, is to let me know what all of her brothers are doing wrong, and there is plenty to tell. />

We are quite the sight, I know. Two tow headed blue eyed tan kids, two skinny, very dark black boys. I am seriously questioning my sanity as I attempt to get some food in the cart, and still have four kids when I turn around again. We are finally in the check out line and a kind elderly woman asks if I run a day care. I was a bit confused at first then laughed and said “no mam, they are all mine.” She gave me a very odd look and said in an incredulous voice ” They can’t ALL be yours, but God bless you.”

I am signing up for the kids for a swim lesson and they are asking for the grades of the kids. Well I have two kindergartners, a first grader and a second grader, “oh you have twins?” No but there is only 2 1/2 years between the siblings. “Excuse me??? They are ALL yours?” I am at the boarder crossing between Canada and Washington state to go to our cabin in British Columbia. The guard sees me pull up, the only adult, in a minivan, packed to the absolute hilt, five bikes, two dogs and four kids. I hand him the passports for all the kids, now third,fourth, and fifth graders. He slides open the door so he can see them all, and remarks “I guess you adopted two, or are they ALL yours?”

As a parent of a biracial family I have answered lots of curious people’s questions thru the years. The questions range in sensitivity, directness, and rudeness. They come from innocent children and nosey old men. They ask in front of my kids as if they are not there or they think they are deaf. I try my best to be nice and answer the questions as best I can. As a family we have many funny responses that we have used to help make light of the sometimes, painful, invasion of our privacy. As an adoptive mom I want to promote how we have chosen to create our family because I want others see it can be done successfully, no where near perfectly, not without issues, but it is being done.

In September, I will have four high schoolers. Two freshman, a sophomore and a junior and yes, they are ALL mine.



6 Comments so far
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Wishing you and Scott peace, and nerves of steel, as you begin the wild ride through high school 🙂

Comment by Barb Stoefen

Thanks Barb, we will be looking to you for advice and assurance!

Comment by Kari

Well, to anyone that has spent more than 3 seconds interacting with your family, there is not doubt that those kids are ALL YOURS!

Comment by Alissa

True that

Comment by Kari

But this means I have to claim my brothers 😛

Comment by Jessica

Every day in every way

Comment by Kari

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