Laugh to Survive

Laugh to Survive

August 11, 2011, 6:00 am
Filed under: biracial families, love, Parenting | Tags: Adoption, blessings, Humor, Parenting, stress

As the wonderful actress Ethel Barrymore once said: You grow up the day you have your first real laugh —at yourself. As a mother, this could not be more true. I think the day I really laughed at myself as a mom, and realized I could be voted worst mother of the year, for that moment in time, was the day my motto became, LAUGH TO SURVIVE.

We as mothers take ourselves pretty seriously, we are sure, there is a right way to do things, and every other mother knows what that is. Not only do they know, they do it with ease and style and there house stays clean. They do not yell at their children, they do not forget important things and for the most part they are always right.

This blog is for the other parents, that like me, mess it up as often as they get it right. We who try so hard, and are in general, sane, wonderful, human beings, but at times, really BLOW it, and deserve the Worst Parent in the World award. I share with you three stories(Lord knows there are thousands) in which I have not been the best parent, and, after my initial tears and remorse I have been able to find the humor and laugh at myself. Laughter is survival and survival is important when you are in it for the long haul of parenting.

Isaac is four, and he has been sent to his room for some sort of monumental grievance that I can not quite remember. He is in his room for a bit and then starts wailing, screaming and calling for me. I, in my ultimate wisdom, do not go in to see him I have just read in a discipline book that waiting it out, not giving into their selfish yells, would teach them to be calmer, and less likely to throw tantrums in the future. Isaac is now just whimpering, but still calling for me and I decide I have waited long enough for him to learn this important lesson. I casually walk into his room to discover he is on the floor in nothing but his Blues Clues underwear, rubbing his inner thigh. He looks at me with pathetic eyes, lifts his hand and there is a huge welt from where a bee has stung him. Guess I really taught him something about crying for your mom.

My son John is six, and we have recently discovered he has a serious vision problem. He has glaucoma and is legally blind. We are still figuring out what exactly that means and what he and can not see. What we did not realize was that he had been compensating for his lack of vision without any of us knowing it. John had memorized where everything in our home was. He could navigate around the house without anyone realizing he had vision issues. We had just had a family dinner and the kids were bringing their dishes over to the sink, I had just pulled the garbage bag out of the can and set the bag beside it in the middle of the walkway. Three of the four navigated around the bag just fine, but to my horror, John did not see the bag, tripped, landed on the floor and the fork he was holding landed in his cheek. I had just forked my son.

My daughter Jessie is in eighth grade but taking some academic courses at the high school. Everyday I pick her up and take her from one school to the next. Did I mention I do it everyday? It is spring semester, so again I have been doing this for a while. I have a friend over for coffee and we have this wonderful time solving the problems of the world, patting ourselves on the back for being good parents and I joke about the fact that of all the mistakes I have made as a mom, I have never forgotten to pick up any of my kids. I pride myself on my organization and multitasking ability. My friend leaves and I look at the clock,(yes you know what’s coming,) I have forgotten my one and only daughter. Now five minutes, ten, or even twenty no big deal, but OVER AN HOUR, not so forgivable. My cell phone is no where to be found, and I once again feel the crown of the Worst Parent of the Year award digging into my head.

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