Girls Scream, Boys Eat
November 5, 2011, 9:47 pm
Filed under: entertainment, humor, Parenting, sports, Teenagers | Tags: , , , ,

I walk in to the room after watching a football game with my boys, it has already been louder and gigglier than I expected. About six girls have their sweats rolled way down on their hips and their shirts tied up around their bras and they are dancing and screaming and watching themselves in the reflection of our windows. Another five are texting and taking pictures of each other. Jessie and two other girls are eating candy and glancing at me to see what my reaction is going to be.

Girls scream, boys eat. I do not know what I was expecting, maybe I was more out of touch than I thought. Jessie has friends over all the time. We are used to having a full house. This is totally different. This is where group dynamic and estrogen and volume take over. Our house will never be the same. Thirteen girls from Jessie’s JV soccer team, spending the night, what the hell was I thinking?

Isaac has had friends over for overnight parties. They drank an enormous amount of Mt Dew, ate Cheetos and cookie dough, watched gross and scary movies, played video games, trash talked each other and made gross noises. They thought they were funny, they stayed up late and crashed hard in the family room. It smelled for a couple of days but candles and windows helped tremendously.

This is a completely different. Christian walks by to go to the kitchen and the noise level reaches a new high. “Christian” they scream, come dance with us, “Christian!, Christian!” Then loud laughter, giggles and screaming. Christian looks at me and just shakes his head. Gus, our dog, has retreated to the space under my desk in the kitchen scared and shaking from all the excitement.

I peek around the corner to see what is going on and Jessie is getting a dance lesson from one of her friends. She spots me and says “Mom I can’t dance” sure you can I say, hoping desperately that she can’t. “Go away mom, it’s so awkward when you are around” I slink back to my desk and try to write. The music gets louder as the girls grab food, more laughter, more dancing and more singing. I hear snippets of the conversations and try to block it out. “My boobs are like eggs” “I have no butt” “Oh my Gawd did you see Toby dancing at homecoming, Gross.” “I can not believe she said that” and then they all stop as a new song starts and they join in at the top of their lungs.

Christian had two buddies stop by this afternoon and they watched foot ball for a while then went out to play basketball. I had thawed five pounds of hamburger to make burgers for the kids to snack on over the weekend. Seventeen burgers gone in less than an hour, and that was just a snack. They came back in from playing, smack talking and joking around, wondering what they could drink and settled back onto the couch to finish watching a football game.

Boys eat, girls scream and I am aging by the minute. Life has not changed that much from when I was a teenager, thank God with lots of therapy I have learned to block most of it out. Still, if screaming girls and hungry boys are the worst I have to deal with, Life is very Good.


6 Comments so far
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Oh my . . . it seems impossible that the ten- and eleven-year-old girls we just had over for a sleepover will be acting like these high-schoolers in just a few short years! Does it seem like time is going at warp speed the older our kids get? Kudos to you for being brave enough to host 13 girls (and then blogging about it so the rest of us have an inkling of what we can expect before too long)!

Comment by Melissa

Melissa, warp speed is right! Enjoy it, I am!

Comment by Kari

Kari – I’m forwarding all of your hysterical child-raising blogs to Sara (your very distant cuz). She’s got a 10 yr old and a 6 yr old boy, and I want her know all she can look forward to. We especially laughed at the airing out the house part! 🙂

Ann D

Comment by Anonymous

Thanks for commenting and sharing my stories. I am glad that you know one of my kids fairly well! Thanks for the amazing support and friendship you give my parents, it is a treasure to them! feel free to comment i love to hear from you!

Comment by Kari

“Boy eat, girls scream.” Sounds like the title of a book 🙂

Comment by Barb Stoefen

or a horror movie 🙂

Comment by Kari

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