kariskhaos


Living with a Volcano
December 6, 2011, 11:15 pm
Filed under: biracial families, love, Parenting, social justice, Teenagers | Tags: , ,

There is a volcano in my family. It has been dormant for a while. I almost thought it might have become inactive, but that was wishful thinking. You can feel the heat rising, bits and spurts that are tell-tale signs we have learned to watch for over the years. It bubbles and oozes until it explodes, burning everyone within its radius. The internal rumblings of the soul and anger deeply imbedded into the rock of this volcano, make it a bit unpredictable and difficult to penetrate.

Ten plus years ago, when we brought this Volcano into our family we thought it was just like any other mountain. Rough spots, sharp edges and beautiful views. It was not as it seemed, and the crevices were much deeper than any one knew. Living with a Volcano is an interesting, lively, exciting and turmoil filled existence. When not erupting, the Volcano is beautiful, courageous, independent and easy to be around. It is a pleasure to look at, to share the air with, and to live close to.

When the volcano begins its rise to boil, it becomes very quiet and intense in our home. It does not have a set pattern that can be charted, but the anticipation sets an atmosphere of tension and anger. Then there is the waiting, which way will it go? Will it be a big eruption? Or will it die down with just a puff of smoke? Today it was a minor eruption, somewhat predictable and only hurting those who were watching and monitoring very closely. It is painful to see someone you love get singed over and over, as he tries to understand the Volcano, and find ways for the Volcano to release the intense energy it holds through a different channel.

The Volcano itself seems indifferent to its eruptions. It is so unaware of its volatile insides that it appears to be the same mountain whether it is exploding with hot lava or showing you an incredible sunset from its peak. The pain and devastation it causes with its explosions are absorbed into the rock from which it is made as if they never happened. There is never an apology, there is never any acknowledgment just an uneasy settling as all the participants relocate and wait for the next time.

Volcano’s are hard to live with, hard to predict and hard to understand. The volcano in my family is so beautiful and strong it takes my breath away. The ability it has to endure and to go on day after day is a tribute to its sense of survival. Its eruptions are a reflection of the deep unsettling of its foundation and its quest to see if love is as powerful as anger and pain. Love will prevail but I do not think this Volcano will accept that any time soon.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

“Love will prevail…”

Yes, it will. I know it and you know it, and sometimes the toughest part of parenting is holding our “volcanoes” until they know it.

Saying prayers for you, and for your volcano.

Comment by Transitioning Mom

well said. Thank you for the encouragement, sometimes I really just want to live outside of the Volcanoes reach, but that was not what I was called to do.

Comment by Kari




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