A Tasty Trap

A Tasty Trap

December 8, 2011, 9:45 am
Filed under: dogs, golden retriever, humor, Parenting, Teenagers | Tags: dogs, family, Humor, parenting teenagers

A Tasty Trap

Gus, our lovable, adorable, loyal one year old golden retriever is too tall for his own good. His snout reaches counter and table height perfectly. He has become a sneaky, treat stealing, clever thief. Gus has eaten a plate of brownies, a loaf of french bread, cheese, and grapes of all things. We were trying to catch him in the act to discipline him but it was not working. He is a very stealth clean thief and rarely makes a noise or leaves evidence of his dastardly deeds. This was all kind of game with us until he went over the line and ate Lila’s lunch while I took her to the bathroom.

Really Gus, Gus? From a two-year old? Enough was enough and drastic measures needed to be taken. Our neighbors who have had many dogs and taken care of many dogs said the sure way to break Gus of this hungry habit was to set a trap. Leave something on the counter where you knew he would get it but lace it with the hottest hot sauce you have in the house.

In some houses this might not be that big of a deal, but in the Johnson home hot sauces are serious business. My husband is a hot sauce connoisseur and collector. The hotter the better and as many of our friends, family and past youth group members can attest to Dave’s Insanity sauce is crazy hot. Scott used to challenge kids with one drop on a chip and whoever could go the longest without taking a drink would get shotgun on the retreat. Isaac, John and Scott actually enjoy the stuff. I will not touch the bottle, Jessie is smart enough not to try it and Christian has had a small amount and said never again.

The evil plan had been formed, the trap was set with a bite of sausage omelette left over from breakfast and a huge amount of hot sauce. Scott, the mastermind behind this great idea had even put a yellow post-it note next to giant morsel that said “Trap for Gus, DAVES INSANITY. DON’T EAT” I thought this was more for me so I would not clean it up. Little did we know we were setting a trap for another grazer in our family.

I was at the computer when I turn to see Christian coughing and gagging at the sink. Whats wrong? I look at the counter and I look at him as his eyes are burning with tears and his nose has started to run. He runs out side to get a gateraide from the garage. I run after him laughing, Scott was outside when CJ had blown by him for the drink. “What happened?” then he starts laughing too. “Christian did you not see the note?” Christian is gargling and spitting and laughing all at the same time. “Note? what note?” I just saw the food, it looked good, and into my mouth it went. I’m a nibbler!” he said between giggles and drinks.

Once again Christian had Scott and I laughing so hard we were crying. We went in the family room to recover from our laughing fits when Isaac asked what happened. “Oh my gosh mom, guess you have your next blog.” Christian looks at me, he is still dying, sweating, nose running and we are all laughing and he says “I guess you taught someone a lesson today, just not Gus”

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