kariskhaos


Saturday Story Time: Would You Consider Two?
December 10, 2011, 11:51 pm
Filed under: africa, biracial families, liberia, Parenting, transracial adoption | Tags: , , ,

Saturday Story Time: Would You Consider Two?

Well, I said frustrated, God is going to have to change your mind or mine, and it’s not going to be mine. Scotty laughed and said “We will see.” It was yet another discussion about adoption, I was very sure we were supposed to adopt. Scott was sure that our family was perfect just the way it was. We had the first-born son, two and a half years later the girl. It was a perfect family. We even had the Golden retriever to make a “Cheerio family” complete.

Scott was pretty convinced of the ‘power of four‘ as he called it. We could all fit into a Honda, we could all go on a quad chairlift, it would always be one on one and one boy and one girl was perfect, why mess with perfection. He was very cute in his reasoning and in some ways absolutely correct but my heart told me differently and I would not give up. Finally about three months later he said okay. I was elated, he then said “If we are going to adopt we will adopt from Africa, we will adopt a boy and not a baby.” He could have told me we were going to adopt a monkey and I would not have cared.

So we say God put adoption on my heart and Africa on Scott’s. Scott knew a family that had adopted from Liberia, they had been a great example, and maybe Liberia was the place for us as well. We started the adoption process, wow what a huge thing. We managed to get all the paperwork done, had our home visit with the social worker who asked us if we were adopting one or two. One I said adamantly, knowing that if it took that long to convince Scott of adoption, two would be way beyond the ‘power of four’ philosophy.

We were assigned a child, a two-year old who was at the orphanage in Liberia and very sick. We got a picture and began to pray earnestly for his safe arrival. Three weeks later we were told of his death. He was just too weak with hunger and malaria. The roller coaster of adoption had begun. We were then assigned another boy, he was four. His father was still alive but he had brought him to the orphanage because he could not take care of him and with no mother he was ostracized from the community. Seth was his name. We got his picture, shared our news with everyone we knew and asked them to pray.

At about this time of December we got another phone call. The dad had come to pick up Seth and wanted to try to find a way to work it out. While this was ultimately good news for Seth we were devastated at the loss of our future with him. I tried to take the news graciously and was trying to get off the phone quickly before I lost it completely and my adoption case worker said “Wait, don’t hang up. I know you are upset but we just got a call about these two brothers, they are four and five and we really want to keep them together, would you consider adopting both?” My heart stopped, two? Four kids? That gives the ‘power of four’ a new perspective.

Would you consider two? Two brothers who want to stay together, two boys meaning we would have four children the ages six and under with only two and half years separating them. Would you consider two? It is harder for boys to get adopted than girls and most people who adopt, want babies. Would you consider two? It won’t be that much more expensive because you have already done all the paperwork. It would almost be like getting two for one. Would you consider two? No pictures available, no information except they were brothers, they were four and five, they wanted to stay together and would we consider two?

Our hearts had been broken twice with two children being assigned and then falling through, what if we said yes and then this fell through too. Would you consider two? What would Scott say? We were going to be stretching our budget to the limit with one more child in our family. Would you consider two? I knew that if I said yes to considering there was no going back. I knew the moment she told me they were brothers I could not say no. I knew in my heart of hearts this was what we were supposed to do. Will you consider two echoed through the phone, I look at my amazing husband who was nodding his head, and nodded my head with tears streaming down my face, she waited and then said “Kari are you still there?” I managed a laugh as I realized she could not see our nod through the phone, Yes mam, we will consider two.

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10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Thank you Kari for sharing your family stories on your blog! Your family is amazing and inspiring! :0). Your entries also allow me to feel closer to Bend while being far away. Thank you!!!

Comment by Cathy Walther

Oh Cathy, thanks so much. Your comment brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my heart. May you be blessed as you bless me.

Comment by Kari

I’m so grateful you said yes. How we love you John and Christian!

Comment by Anonymous

Whoops that comment was from me. 🙂 Love you Aunt Kari.

Comment by Kayli Ellingson

Thanks for letting me know it was you! Thanks for reading and all your support through the years! I can not wait till you adopt your own 🙂 love you Kayli!

Comment by Kari

That’s the best two for one deal – ever!!! 🙂

Comment by Anonymous

I think you must be right! Oh what a ride

Comment by Kari

What a fabulous story! Thanks for loving fully, deeply, overflowing-ly!

Comment by Jill

Thanks Jill,
I will re-read this when I forget and just want to run away.

Comment by Kari

That post was so powerful I am literally at a loss for words.

We have several friends who have opened their hearts, their families, and their homes to adopted children. They have each echoed your words, “God put adoption on my heart..” God clearly knows what he is doing. 🙂

Thank you for sharing.

Comment by Transitioning Mom




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