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Managing Mondays: It Never Hurts To Ask

Managing Mondays: It Never Hurts To Ask

Isaac,

my dear beautiful son. There are so many things I love about you. I love your sense of humor, your confidence, your unique way of looking at the world. I enjoy being with you and love your hugs and tenderness to me.

For Christmas this year I would ask that for the next five days you would give me the gift of your best you. I would like to be able to ask you to do something and just have the answer be yes. I would like to have you spend some good time with Evan and our family. I would like you to engage and share your self with us.

For my present this year I would ask for you, the amazing, incredible, young man who I am blessed to call my son. That’s all I want for Christmas this year will you do your best to make my Christmas wish come true?

I love you so so much,

Each of my teenagers received a letter like this on Thursday of last week. All four were unique as each of my children are unique. The attributes of each of the kids were specific and affirming. The specific behavior I wanted laid out in front of them. The same question ended each one. I think how often we have hidden expectations of our kids or others we are in a relationship with. I wonder how many times I get frustrated with them for something they did, or did not do, just because I had not clearly communicated my hope and expectation.

I truly believe our kids want to please us, but often feel they fail because they do not know how, or feel it will go unnoticed. The “you only notice the bad things not the good” syndrom. This weekend proved my theory. I got my Christmas wish four times over. Each of my kids stepped up, stepped out and clearly worked to make my Christmas wish come true. Isaac did moan that it would be easier to buy me something, but smiled as he said it.

It was a wonderful time and made my Christmas this year, one of the best ever. I know that this is not going to last, but I also know that it is possible. Looking for the good, expecting the great, acknowledging the attempts. It’s amazing how much easier it is to find when your focus is on the positive and they know you appreciate them. It never hurts to ask, sometimes even Mom’s wishes come true! Thank you Isaac, John, Christian, and Jessica, I love you.

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