Managing Monday: Using Your Village

This quilt is by Judith Trager

I am on the start of my second full week without my husband Scott. He leaves on Sundays and returns on Friday nights. It was an easy start last week with a Holiday, and then a snow day. this week is very different. I have blogged before about calendaring and keeping organized. This week is a doozy and I had to go to even more extreme measures to make sure it will run smoothly.

I used to have a super woman complex. I felt like if I could not get it all done by myself I was a failure and incompetent. After nearly having a nervous break down about twelve years ago, I got over that concept for good. I know that it takes a village, not one crazy stressed out mom to raise a family these days. I am not afraid to ask for help and I am blessed with a community of friends and family that are willing. I have learned that people really like to help. They offer because they want to help,and when you try to do it without help, it is a slap in the face to those who love you and offer to assist you.

I got up this morning and wrote out a daily schedule starting with my first must to and ending with the last for the day. I then went over it with my parents(who are super amazing and are staying in Bend for January and February) and they marked which ones they could help with. Anything that was not covered, I called or texted friends who have graciously offered to assist me. I then made a very detailed to-do list for the week that included things like blog, call the doctor, eat lunch, and pour your self a glass of wine. I really like to be able to cross things out. It gives me great pleasure to look at my list and see things crossed off the list, sometimes, I even add things that I did that were not on the list just so I can cross them off.

Now is a time when I give a shout out to all single parents. My single parenting is short-term, it is limited to week days and it is backed by the wonderful technology of today that allows me to have visual contact with my husband on a daily basis. Did you know that Scott’s evil eye can be transmitted across Skype? So all you amazing, hard-working, twenty-four seven, single parents, I take my hat off to you. I could not do what you do, I do not want to do what you do, but if you need help doing what you do, please do not hesitate to ask me. I will gladly stand with you and do what I can to be the village you, and your kids need not only to survive but to thrive.

This week will still be stressful, busy and probably lonely but I will get through it. I will laugh and enjoy myself too because I have learned the value of asking for help, allowing people to bless me with their service and the joy of returning the favor. It does take a village, I just need to remember to live in it.


2 Comments so far
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you are spot on, again, Kari!! I couldn’t survive without the village concept……please know the Kramer family has your back….let us know if there is anything we can do to help! love you….theresa

Comment by Anonymous


Just wanted to say thanks! Your friendship has been a huge hi-lite of this school year for me! I am so thankful for your thoughtfulness and sense of humor!

Comment by Kari

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