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Saturday Story Time: The Five Love Languages; Gifts

Saturday Story Time: The Five Love Languages; Gifts

I ran out of children since I only have four and there are five love languages. The last one of the five is Gifts and it happens to be my primary love language so I know a few things about loving others in this language. In the book series “The Five Love Languages” Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have explored our innate need to be loved and respected. Their research has led hem to the conclusion that we all have a primary way we receive love from others. The five communication styles are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Gifts. I have found that these are very simple, wonderful ways to develop the art of communicating love, in a way your loved one will best understand.

“A true gift is not a payment for services rendered; rather, it is an expression of love for the individual and is freely given by the donor” is an important distinction made by Gary in this book. I am a giver by nature. I love to give gifts, to make cards, bake, whatever I love it. A dear friend once gave me the best compliment when she said “I have never met another woman whose very essence is about giving to others.” That being said I think that picture might be a bit one-sided as I love to get gifts almost as much as giving them.

If your child’s love language is gifts please do not think that buying them everything they ask for is the only way they will receive love from you. This is far from the truth. A person whose primary love language is gifts is not looking at the gift near as much as the heart behind it. They need to be loved in all the languages for the gift to really mean anything at all. The gift itself is not nearly as important as the love and thoughtfulness that went into the gift. Long before I got married and was still in the dating scene I met a pompous young man who worked at my bank. He had asked me out and the whole night had been about him proving how wonderful he was. I was an image he needed to fulfill his version of his perfect life. On my birthday he sent me a dozen red roses. I wanted to throw them in the garbage. He did not send them to me because he truly thought I would love them, but because he wanted to make a statement. When I went into the bank that day, he immediately asked in front of all his co-workers if I had gotten them. I lied and said no, not yet. Then I made a point to mention what my favorite flower was, needless to say, it is not a red rose.

For a child with the love language of gifts Gary sums it up well “The gift holds a special place in their hearts because it is in fact an expression of your love. Seeing the gift reminds them that they are loved. It doesn’t matter to them if the gift was made, found, or purchased; whether it was something they desired or not. What matters is that you thought about them.”

If you have the opportunity to buy, borrow, or download this book it will be well worth your time. Your relationships will be forever changed for the better as we all learn how to communicate love in ways it will be best received.

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