Whimsical Wednesdays: The Journey To Becoming Hugz The Clown and Beyond; part 9: Kids say the funniest things and clowning catastrophe’s.

I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. You could hear the kids running around inside and giggles as the energy was winding up. I was a bit uneasy as this party was for a two-year old. That is young for a big party, it is very young for a clown. I had talked to the parents at length before agreeing. I tried to convince them to wait at least one year, no way. Their son would not be afraid. Their son would love having a clown. Their son was adventurous and not afraid of anything so far. They have him answer the door. He takes one look at me, looks at his parents who are smiling and starts to yell at the top of his lungs. He ran the opposite direction down the hall screaming bloody murder, which of course caused a chain reaction for the other children and I had just walked into my worst nightmare.

The parents were stunned, but not deterred. I wanted to just leave, I was wondering if I had a waver in my car claiming no long-term responsibility for the years of counseling this child would need in the future. They brought me in to the screaming mayhem and had me perform for the parents at the party while they each held their squirming child and tried to show them that it was okay. Parents, Aunts, Uncles, well-meaning friends please learn from this, two is too young, and if your child has this kind of reaction, smile at the clown, give them a generous tip for their time and go salvage what you can of your child’s birthday party. It is not worth it!

Lucy was turning six. She had met me at a company picnic the previous summer and had followed me around for hours. She was cute, precocious, and had asked her parents right then if I could be at her next birthday. I was looking forward to it, I had fallen in love with her and her parents were delightful. They were having a big family gathering for Lucy. One of the routines I use with kids is to talk to them about their birthday. Lucy was upfront with me and we were going back and forth about how old she was. I would ask how old she was and she would say “six!” My first response was always Oh I am so sorry to hear you are sick on your birthday, but how old are you? Lucy laughed and said “no, I’m not sick. I am six” I would comment again about how sad it was to be sick on your birthday and ask again. Lucy was getting frustrated, and she said a bit louder “I am six” Holy cow Lucy you are sixteen, that is awesome, are you not a bit small for being sixteen? In typical fashion she tried to interrupt me, raised her voice even louder and with exasperation said “Hugz, I am not sick, I am six” then she yelled “S” “E” “X” The whole room came to a silent standstill. I quickly managed a shocked “And such a good speller too”.

I was on my way to my agency’s office to train and brainstorm about the upcoming Christmas Season. Elf’s were really popular and I was booked solid from Thanksgiving on through New Years. It was the beginning of October, not near enough to Halloween to justify being in a costume and certainly too early for a Christmas elf. I was driving my husbands Volkswagen Vanagon which was notorious for breaking down. Just before my exit off a major freeway in Sacramento, California, a tire blew out. It is about six at night, I am dressed like an Elf including the pointy ears and sparkly red nose. I call my husband who tells me to change it or call AAA. It was not a happy moment in our marriage. I let him know what I think of his idea in very clear terms while I sit on the side of the freeway dressed like an elf in October.
There are many more stories, and funny things that have happened while on my way to and from gigs. I have been asked out on a date, I have been refused service at a drive through. I have forgotten various pieces of my costume and had to improvise too many times to count. I have been stopped by the police, I have been chased by dogs. I have made some kids cry but way more laugh. I have heard every dumb clown joke, been asked about my shoe size, my hair dresser, what my children look like and if clowns go to heaven. It has been an amazing journey. I am proud of Hugz, and honored to be in the clown family forever.

next week: Part 10 The conclusion to the series, we get to the Beyond!


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