kariskhaos


Control The Things You Can Control

“What do we know? We know we lost three games this weekend and won one. I am not much for moral victories and I will not tell you it is good to lose…”. This was the beginning of the speech the coach gave Christian’s team after a fun but disappointing weekend of basketball. It is a new team for Christian this Spring and he is playing as a fifteen year old on a sixteen year old team. There is one other longtime friend and teammate the same age and the rest are a year older. He gets to play with three of his high school team mates, and then kids from the two other local high school’s round out the team.

Through the years Christian has played for many teams, usually he was playing up a grade. We have already been to hundreds of his games, sat through many coaches talks and dealt with all the drama being on a traveling team brings. We have loved the team and hated the coach, we have loved the coach and hated the team, we have liked the coach and team, but still struggled. I love this coach and team. I know it was only the first tournament, I know they have a way to go to become a threat at these tournaments, I know this, and I love this team.

“Control the things you can control, do not worry about the refs, the other dirty players, the parents, or missing shots. Control the things you can control. You can control your effort and your attitude. Did you come off the court having given 100% effort and was your mind in the game ready to play?” coach asked at the end. “If you can answer yes to both of these questions, I have no problem with you, the rest will come…” If Christian walked away with nothing else from this team, it will have been we’ll worth the time, money, and sacrifice to make this possible.

Control the things you can control. I know we have all heard this. I know I have heard it a million times. There are books on this theme, retreats, psychotherapy and more. It is the most basic of concepts and the most difficult to implement in daily life. I have decided this will be my question at the end of every day. Did I give 100% effort to whatever I was doing, and was my mind “in the game” or was it wandering, worrying, and thinking about what I had to do next, instead of being in the moment?

Can I live this out in the practical daily expectations of my life? Can I be the example to my children that clearly communicates that though life is not fair, and life is for sure hard, how I choose to respond to it is in my control? The effort and mindset I choose today, will make a difference in not only my tomorrow, but their future. Control the things I can control, give 100% effort to whatever I do and be present in the moment. Thanks for the reminder Coach.

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