Thing One and Thing Two

I keep thinking if I present it in the right way, things might get done. I try yelling, I try calmly asking, I try writing notes so my emotions do not get involved. I try joking, threats of evil deeds, and yet I talk to a brick wall. I know I should be grateful because two of my four children get it. They pick up, they see things that need to be done, and they do them, that is especially noteworthy when one of them is legally blind. Jessie and John have been amazing. Thing One, and Thing Two not so much.

Thing One is the oldest child in the family, he has such potential for greatness and shows sparks of true growth, but the sparks have yet to light a fire under his buttocks to make any progress. Thing Two has the best heart and the best intentions. Thing Two sucks at follow through. Thing Two is fifteen but it often seems that his toddler comes out in him. Communicating with Thing One and Thing Two is very frustrating, they look like they are listening, they act like they can hear you, they even come up with nice things to say like “Quit nagging, mom, I got this” “I heard you the first two times” and my favorite; “Sorry mom, I will get to it, I promise.”

I have heard that teenagers lose a part of their memory because hormones take over. I have been told that I am not the first or the last to go through this. Yeah, yeah whatever! Thing One and Thing Two may find themselves sleeping in the garage with the rest of the things we put in there that we can’t quite get rid of but do not know where else to put.

How many “Thing’s” do you have in your home? When you ask them to do something do you just ask so you can hear yourself talk? I ask because I need more fodder for my blog. Having obedient children must be soooo boring. The worst thing about Thing One and Thing Two is that I love them, and the second worst thing is I do not have the fancy machine that The Cat in The Hat did to come pick up, clean up, and replace all the damage. I do not even have a talking fish.

So if you find that you have a Thing One and a Thing Two in your house innocently reeking havoc on your sanity, do me a favor and do not tell me. I am too busy enjoying mine.


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