Day Eleven on my island, the roles we play.


Day Eleven on my island, the roles we play.

As I sit on the very clean deck tonight after dinner with the four kids, I hear the ferry blast three small honks. It means someone is in his way. It always makes me laugh because what vessel in their right mind would get in the way of a ferry. It’s like a tonka toy getting in the way of a real semi truck. Not smart!

It has been an interesting time as I observe how the three boys work together. It comes as no surprise that Isaac is the designated foreman. Any job that happens, is because he decided that it should. Isaac tells the other two what to do, how to do it, and will take over if he feels they are not doing it correctly(which of course is how he thinks it should be done.) Isaac has a brain that sees the problem, knows the most efficient way to fix it and has a hard time when others do not see it the same way.

Christian is the middle man. He works hard to make everyone happy. He admires Isaac but is annoyed with him at the same time. Isaac try’s to be a teacher but if you do not do it exactly as he says, he gets frustrated and wants to take over. He shows Christian what to do but in a way that is unintentionally demeaning. Christian tolerates Isaac very well, he knows he actually does have the best way to do it but to admit that makes Isaac too powerful so he purposefully does things a bit different. The power play between them is quite comical. Isaac dictates, shows how it should be done. Christian complies for a minute or two then spaces and does it his own way. Isaac then finishes the job, because he can not stand to have it done anyway but his.

John is definitely the grunt labor, and happy with his role. Tell him what to do, give him the heaviest load and he is pleased. He looks up to Isaac, counts on and trusts him to give him a task he can accomplish, and succeed at. John also adds the humor and intelligent conversation as he whistles while he works, asking the other two questions about the NBA and NFL and any other bits of information he wants to share from the pod casts he has been listening to. John has a great attitude, a strong body and a willingness to follow directions. Isaac loves working with him.

They are all so different, and they all have their positives and negatives. I have worked hard to stay out of it as much as possible. In some ways they each know their roles and play them very well. They do get quite a bit accomplished and I am so proud of them. At times, I can see Isaac tire of the in charge role, and he gets snippy with me when I question any of his choices. Christian escapes with his basketball workouts and his need to bug Jessica. John just rolls along, ignoring everyone else when he has has had enough, and retreating to his iPad and headphones.

All things considered they do amazingly well. We are a close family that works together, plays together, and for the most part get along. As they get older, and their relationships are defined less by being in the same household, and more by the relational ties that they have built, it will be interesting to see what the future holds. I am now off to the lighthouse to catch the sunset, and if I am lucky, whales.






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