Filed under: Parenting, Teenagers, british columbia, love, blessings, humor, cooking, nature | Tags: Humor, blessings, Parenting, Love, family, teenagers, travel
Fill in the blank Friday: Johnson Style
What do you like most about your job?
Scotty: Listening
Kari: The funny things that Lila and Hannah say
Favorite place you have ever been
Scotty: Zihuatenajo, Mexico
Kari: Mayne Island, British Columbia
Who do you think is the funniest person in the family?
Scotty: I am of course, not Isaac
Kari: So Isaac wins for funny annoying, and funny most consistently, Scott wins for being the funniest the longest.
Before I can go to bed I have to
Scotty: Thoroughly brush my teeth
Kari: pee
Favorite pass-time/ hobby
Scotty: Fly Fishing
Kari: uhhh, reading
Place you still want to go:
Scotty: Alaska with Jessie to fly fish
Kari: Greece to reenact “Mama Mia”
Favorite type of music
Scotty: Americana
Kari: Country and instrumental folk
The one thing I can not leave the house without is
Scotty: my iPhone
Kari: my sense of humor
The best thing about being a dad/mom
Scotty: Imparting…
Kari: The constant appreciation and accolades
If I were to choose my last meal ever it would be
Scotty: Taco Salad
Kari: My dads pancakes, my sisters apple pie, my mother in laws ginger cookies, my moms rigatoni, Eden’s lemon tarts
Filed under: blessings, cooking, friendship, hospitality, humor, love, Parenting, Teenagers | Tags: blessings, family, food, Humor, Love, Parenting, teenagers
I know this will be hard to believe but I really like people. I love to talk to people and I love to be around people. You might even go so far as to say I am a people person. I mean I know that when my husband describes me to his friends he mentions that I am quiet and docile. I am sure those are the words most people would use to describe me, but every once in a while, I get out of my box and socialize. This was one of those days.
The problem with being a social person is that everything takes longer. It takes longer to go to the store for example, because you either run into someone you know or you chat with the sales clerk or the young man who is bagging your groceries. Today the young man was doing a horrible job, but he was cute and polite and so I did not tell him what was going through my mind about how he really needed lessons in how to load a grocery bag. Instead I found out his mother loves to garden and she has been roping him in to help her. The clerk who checked my groceries was very concerned that I had all the latest information on how to save at Safeway and proudly told me she was becoming computer literate because of the stores new internet coupons. The produce lady wanted me to try the nectarines which were ripe, very tasty, and well worth the $2.50 a pound, but told me to stay away from the peaches for a while.
This of course led to the fact that I was late to pick up the kids after practice, so they had to wait twenty minutes. John whose practice ended at 4:30, had to wait close to an hour so he gave up before I got there, and decided to walk home. Now I would not have been at the grocery store so late if my wonderful neighbor whom I love, had not stopped by to chat. She had surgery last week and this was her first outing so we talked for quite a while, and then it was time to take Lila to her dad. Adam and I had a conversation about the end of the year and then he remembered it was pay-day so he dug through the bag to find my pay check and that made us remember all the other times we had miss-communicated about my pay-day and so we were talking until Lila announced she had to go to the bathroom, “right now.”
I had invited my friend and her family over for an impromptu dinner and that was the end to a very wonderfully social day. She happens to have four children as well and a very nice man in her life who also has a son. They were later than they expected so I had to leave to go to a basketball meeting before they arrived. It is good to have friends that will just come in and figure things out even if you are not there. I came home and the twelve of us had dinner and chatted until they left at 9:30 pm.
I think I might have gotten something done today, but really I could care less. I had some great conversations, laughed, and was reminded why we were created as social people. I now will go back to being my quiet and docile personality (while I sleep!)
Filed under: exercise, friendship, golden retriever, nature, Parenting, pets | Tags: Bend Oregon, blessings, nature, outdoors, Parenting, river otters
Whimsical Wednesday: For The Love of Bend
When my family moved to Bend, Oregon eleven years ago I knew it would be a place I wanted to live, raise my kids and enjoy the out doors. It is nestled at the foot of the mountains with the Deschutes river running from one end of town to the other. The next few Wednesdays I will be sharing my favorite parts of Bend and why I love it so much. This weeks focus is the trail by the river that I walk one to two times a week.
The following description is from a travel website about Oregon. This trail is a five-minute drive from my house.
The Deschutes River Trail sections cover several miles. This one is easy access but feels more like a hike than what you get in the downtown section.
Head south from Farewell Bend Park. While you can take a nice stroll through this park , I suggest heading for the dirt trail from the southwest end of the park that takes you upstream to a footbridge, where you can cross and return on the other side for a nice three-mile loop. The trail slips through mainly ponderosa forest, but interpretive signs help with some of the other vegetation. Some of our wildlife sightings included common mergansers, Townsend’s solitares, robins, bushtits (including a nest), ravens, a black phoebe and American dippers. We can also provide two eyewitness accounts to verify that there are fish in the river. First, we watched an osprey dive from its tree perch, splash into the water, and arise with a small fish in its talon. Then, as we were standing on the footbridge, we watched a river otter haul its catch onto a rock and munch away.
Yea, he just mentioned river otters, need I say more? It is a dog friendly, beautiful path, that is wide and easy to walk. The water plays its music and even on the darkest days the views are incredible. When I walk with my friends we usually stop two or three times and remind our selves that we get to live here! Scott and I will walk along the river in the Fall with the colors changing and I have even snow shoed it with a friend after a hard snow. It is three miles of God’s creation and you can not believe it is right down town.
Filed under: love, Parenting | Tags: family, Love, parenting teenagers, transitions
I do not usually have commentary on a blog I have written, but felt last night in my late night musings, I may not have been very clear. In January of this year my husband Scott, took a job as a hospital chaplain in a town two and a half hours from our home. As a family we chose to have Scott commute and live in a trailer during the weekdays and come home on weekends. This was a tough decision but one we felt in the best interest of our kids, and our family as we are very invested in this community. I moved when I was in high school and it was very difficult for me. With four teenagers very involved in sports and invested in the school we felt, and still feel this was the best decision .
That being said, living away from each other is not easy. When I talk about not giving up I am talking about our decision to make the commuting work. For some reason it may have come across as my marriage, and that is so far from the truth that I had never considered it might be interpreted that way. Life is full of difficult decisions and this has been one of the toughest. Families manage this kind of thing all the time and through my blog I am voicing the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. That is life and it is one that I am living to the fullest.
Thanks for choosing to come along for the ride.
Filed under: biracial families, blessings, cooking, love, organization, Parenting, stress, Teenagers | Tags: blessings, calendaring, family, Love, Parenting, parenting teenagers, relationships, stress, time management, transitions
I have the best intentions of writing my blog earlier in the day. I even thought I might get it done while Lila was napping today. I got other things done but not my blog. The taxi service started this afternoon and the next thing I knew it was 7:30. I still needed to get my Kari’s Kitchen meal made and help with homework. It was all good and important stuff but it meant that my blog was put off once more. Now I sit with my apron still on, but a clean kitchen, and all fourteen of the meal orders for this week done. It is a good feeling.
Scotty and I had a hard conversation last night about our current affairs. He is feeling out of the loop with the daily parenting of our kids. He feels bad that he is not here to help me more, and hates that I have become a single parent in many ways. We both are making the best of a tough situation, but in that process there is pain. At what point, he asked me, is it too much? How do we know when the line has been crossed and other options need to be considered and taken seriously? Will we know before it is too late?
I do not have any clear answers for these questions. I just know it is messy and hard and real. The pros are still out weighing the cons but the questions need to be asked. Communication between Scotty and I has to be honest, brutally honest at times and that is not easy for either of us. Sometimes we want to protect the other from feeling guilty, or bad, or worse yet, not missed at all. We put on our happy face with each other to protect the other, and what we sometimes end up with is a false image.
When Scott and I were video chatting last night I was crying. I cry easily and I cry often just as I laugh loudly, often and easily. I try hard on a daily basis to look at the bright side, to find the good and be brave in this often difficult time. What I learned was that sometimes Scott needs to hear that it is really hard, that I hate being away from him, and I am making it, but I really wish it could be different. That kind of honesty with him and with myself does not say I want to give up, but validates our love and need for each other in the midst of our choices.
Christian asked me tonight if I was still in love with dad. He had seen me crying and knew I was struggling. I smiled at him, oh yes honey I love your dad now more than ever. He smiled and said “so its just hard to be away from each other?” Yes honey, it is really hard to be away from each other. Sometimes harder than others.
Filed under: back to school, basketball, biracial families, blessings, homework, humor, love, organization, Parenting, sports, stress, Teenagers | Tags: blessings, calendaring, family, football, homework, Humor, Love, Parenting, parenting teenagers, school, stress, time management, transitions
Managing Monday’s: The Last School Push
The kids have eleven and a half more days of school. They make it seems like a whole year. “I am so done with class, why do we even have to go?” “The last day of school is pointless, why bother” they say in voices of two-year olds. I smile a rueful smile. I remember these days. I remember feeling much the same way, but now I am the parent, and I am finding that I am going to need a cattle brander to get our kids through these last weeks.
Isaac, my junior who always skates the fine line between an A and B is once again bringing my stress level up to new heights. These are the grades that will make a big difference for his college choices. These are the grades that even in his weight lifting class he is borderline A or B. Really? At what point to I just let go? Hey all you wise parents out there, with kids that made it to college, is now the time to lay off or do I ride him for the next two weeks grounding him from everything but school and his basketball practices? Will it make a difference?
For John, my sophomore, it is about not adding anything to his plate. Excusing him from chores, saying as little as possible and making sure he has enough food. John will be up every night for the next two weeks until 3 AM to get his work done and finish strong. I added a orthodontist appointment and was yelled at. Keep the peace, stay out-of-the-way and let him sleep for a week when school is out.
The younger two, both freshman, the end is not as crucial. Jessie will finish strong and though a bit more moody, she will finish with a 4.0. Christian will do his best and complain mildly about it, but will be kept very busy with football and basketball practices starting tomorrow. If he is busy, and gets to play basketball he is happy.
As with all important matters pertaining to our children, remembering they are individuals who have different love languages and different motivators helps. I can not treat Isaac with the kid gloves I choose for John. Christian will not respond to negative reactions. With a bit of innovation, and energy, I can see a light at the end of yet another school year. The last school push, may the force be with us all.
Filed under: blessings, death, friendship, grief, love, Parenting, prayer | Tags: affirmation, blessings, family, God, Love, Parenting, sunday blessing
Thank you to all Veterans, we will remember and we are honored by your service
Sunday Blessing:
The Blessing of Unanswered Prayers
I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I had asked for,
but everything that I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.
- Unknown Confederate Soldier
Filed under: basketball, biracial families, dogs, exercise, friendship, humor, love, Parenting, sports, stress, Teenagers, travel | Tags: basketball, calendaring, family, Humor, Love, Parenting, parenting teenagers, sports, stress, travel
I sit outside on the grass. Gus is with us this trip and so I want to give him as much time out of the car as possible. From where I sit I can hear the buzzers from the different courts going off, the squeak of the sneakers on the court and male voices indistinct but clearly coaching. I do not have to be in the gym to know the smell, the sweat, the emotion that is rising to the top of the building and leaking out the sides. This scene is going on all around the country, for our family it is basketball. For other families it may be gymnastics, volleyball, a chess tournament, or a jazz band concert. It is the life of any family that has kids that are involved in any extra curricular activity.
As I continue my time outside of the arena, kids of all ages come by. Dad’s and coaches always talking about the game that just finished. Discouraged, encouraged, heads low, big smiles, I see it all. Swaggering, man-child young men, with beards and tattoos, spinning the ball on a finger and swearing about a bad call. Little boys, holding on to their mom’s hand, as they excitedly relive the one shot they made.
This weekend was a short trip. Just a two and a half hour drive. Others, are much further. The ride to the tournament is always more exciting than the ride home and the car smells so much better on the way their than the way back. I put Gus in the car, walk to the entrance. I pay my five dollars and enter the gym. Today it is at a basketball facility called The Hoop, more often, it is at high school gyms. The format is the same, no matter where they play. It is either hot, or very cold. It is loud, and whistles are hard to distinguish from one court to another.
We watch our children compete, and yell at the Refs. We celebrate their victories, and complain about their losses. The ride back to the hotel or home is very quiet, or very animated depending on the outcome. Christian is always quick to thank you for coming to his game. He loves to have you there, and even though he rolls his eyes at my big mouth, he makes sure we know he is aware of the sacrifices we are making to give him the opportunity to play. Isaac is off with another team at a different tournament. In June “Summer ball” starts and they will be on the same team again. Jessie will play as well, so the juggling begins again.
These weekends are time-consuming, expensive, and at times, very stressful. These weekends are fun, the friendships made are special, and the competition and exposure for our kids is important. We are lucky because both Scott and I love the game of basketball and road trips are a way of life for us. I often get asked how we manage with four children involved in multiple sports. I guess we do not think about it that much, you just do it.
As a family we bond as we share in each others victories, and defeats. We have conversations on the trips that do not happen any other time. We share in the love for a game and our love for each other. We have made choices, and though it sometimes makes me crazy, and I think I hear basketballs bouncing in my sleep, our family is closer and stronger because of the sports involved life we have chosen.
Filed under: books, humor, Parenting, Teenagers, travel | Tags: books, family, Humor, Parenting, teenagers, travel
Fill in the Blank Friday; Johnson Style
If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?
Isaac: SanDiego
Jessie: Someplace warm
What is your favorite flavor of ice-cream?
Isaac: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Jessie: Vanilla Heath
What was the best gift you were ever given?
Isaac: John and Christian
Jessie: A trip to SanDiego to swim with the dolphins
Favorite book:
Isaac: The Ranger’s Apprentice Series by John Flanagan
Jessie: Too many to choose
Favorite Children’s Book:
Isaac: Fire Race by Jonathan London
Jessie: Tell Me Something Happy Before I Go to Sleep by Joyce Dunbar
What do you like most about being in the Johnson family?
Isaac: That we travel
Jessie: Crazy and full of laughter
What do like least about being in the Johnson family
Isaac: THE NOISE
Jessie: Crazy and chaotic
What is something you want to do before you die?
Isaac: Sky Dive
Jessie: Travel around the world
How do you relax?
Isaac: Sleep
Jessie: Music, alone in my bedroom, with a good book
Where do you spend the most time in our house?
Isaac: Family room
Jessie: Family room
Filed under: biracial families, child care, dogs, friendship, grief, humor, love, Parenting, stress, Teenagers | Tags: blessings, family, grief, Humor, mental-health, motherhood, parenting teenagers, relationships, stress, teenagers, weather changes
The black cloud seemed to follow me everywhere this week. You know the one where every tiny thing you think is just one step takes one hundred? That was this week. The kids are normal teenagers, but every little thing they do not do seems like a gigantic war against you personally. One quick phone call ends up being three hours of holding, and elevator music to answer a question that they got wrong in the first place. The dog decides that you do not have quite enough on your plate, so he rolls in the mud, and covers your window in smeary dirt because you will not let him in the house. You know the kind of week.
It’s the week when the weather changes, and you step in gum in your favorite shoes. It just happens. My week has been full of these kind of moments and more. Isaac tweaked his bad knee again, Jessie, who is usually my sanity life line, had a couple of typical teenage reactions to me this week. She texted me “Yeah, Yeah” four times in one conversation, and ended it with “Whatever.” Christian, bless his heart, failed his permit test for the fourth time. Everybody I talked to had some sort of crisis big and small. Scotty was incredibly supportive, but I know he feels guilty he can not be here, and I feel bad complaining when he is sacrificing so much to help us remain in Bend. Lila was moody and well… you get the idea.
Some days are just so, I don’t know, daily. I have fought depression since I was a teenager. I take antidepressants and over the years have been learning the power of self-care. I have walked three times this week, taken my vitamins, tried to get enough sleep, and yet, still struggled to keep my head above the rising water. My tolerance level is pretty high, and I can juggle a whole lot but this was just one of those weeks.
You know the type where all those things you swore you would never do, or say like you parents did, and you find them coming out of your mouth. The times when you wonder which came first, kids or alcohol? There are weeks like that. I had one this week.
Tonight I met a friend for a drink, and we sat for three hours lamenting our busyness, the joy and despair of our kids, and parents, getting older. We shared our nightmare of a week with each other, and both listened in horror to what the other one had to go through. We laughed, cried and laughed some more. We tried to out do each other with the worst of stories. It is always good to know someone else struggles as much as you. They think you are amazing for all the things you manage, and you thank God you are not having to deal with what they are.
We left after those three hours in the same exact position we were before we met. We both still had too much to do, in too little time. I still have four teenagers, a dirty dog, and a schedule that looks like a subway station at rush hour. She still has to deal with all her craziness as well. These three hours did not change anything, they changed everything. The cloud has not gone away, but now instead of focusing on the darkness, I can once again see, that rain, is what makes the flowers grow.
